Last night something beautiful happened. I overcame a dark, scary shadow of my past! I was on a live 3-hour radio show with Joe Rupe talking about Love, Intimacy and Astral Travel when I found myself sharing about dark memories from my childhood. Surprisingly, they rolled off my tongue without fear of the consequences. I felt it important to share this moment of celebration for me cause the particular story I shared had a very strong hold on me for decades!
To provide a little backstory here, I grew up in a Born Again Christian Cult and had numerous satanic cults living in the rolling hills of what was then my backyard. It provided plenty of dark experiences I worked very hard to forget. (Listen to the show for more details).
In my teenage years, the darkness was heavy on my heart and mind so I turned to marijuana and recreational drugs to mask my anger and find some elements of joy and entertainment in my life.
However, in my 20’s that no longer worked for me. I realized I wanted more from my life. I knew I had a higher calling. At the ripe age of 21, I became an entrepreneur and vowed to never be enslaved by anyone ever again. I took back my power and it felt incredible. My first business was an overnight success and took me on a wild ride of learning through experience. I knew I had cracked the code to living on purpose and I knew a secret to a power very few people on the planet knew about and that worked well – for a good decade.
However, the magical codes shifted abruptly in 2003 when I experienced nine deaths in one year and I found myself peering through time and space and all my past concepts of reality were instantly shattered. The game became really different instantly.
Through a sequence of kundalini awakenings. I awoke to many psychic abilities that boggled my mind and took me on a wild ride of losing everything and everyone I loved. I sought out teachers in the far corners of the world trying to make sense of my newfound abilities. I was able to see through time, to see the space between every living object, to know what was about to happen, to place my hand on books and know all the content… It was as if all the information that was available on the internet lived inside my body and I could access it simply by closing my eyes. What was more strange was how accurate I was and how much I triggered others!
At first, I wasn’t sure how to feel about these newfound gifts. People either idolized me or pushed me away. I felt like an alien. People would often cry when I talked to them, or start telling me all their secrets without prompting. New acquaintances, and often children would tell me they were having weird images of me as their spirit guide appearing as a ghostlike figure in their house or speaking to them in their dreams.
I found out that I could speak to anyone who died and communicate with any sentient being for that matter, and serious miracles would happen as a result. Paranormal occurrences were happening moment to moment and it seemed that my presence – my actual breath– challenged people who had something to hide. They would feel uncomfortable in my presence and become really suspicious.
I found people would either cling to me and try to own me as their personal genie or they would be so triggered by me they would cut me off. Neither reaction was healthy for me. I’ve overcome numerous death threats and massive psychic tests from other powerful people who felt challenged by my abilities (including cult leaders and manipulative, global power players).
It took me nine years to hone my gifts and understand what I was supposed to do with all this information. Quite frankly, my gifts scared the shit out of me. People just assumed I knew how to handle all this newfound energy, but I didn’t – that took serious practice!
I enrolled in a number of Mystery Schools. I sought out Shamans and Psychics for help. I read whatever ancient texts and occult books I could find and I apprenticed with Mediums and old school Tantric Yogis hoping they would guide me to what I was supposed to do and how to control the insanity that was my spontaneous awakening. Some of them helped greatly and I took whatever they offered that worked for me.
What I came to realize through all my seeking was that all the information was already inside me. I already knew what I was supposed to do I just didn’t have the conviction or courage to step out of my comfort zone, I was seeking validation and intimate connections. My egoic personality freaked out the entire journey. I never ‘chose’ to be a shaman or a healer. I preferred to be working in tech, doing business and something more practical. My soul had another agenda and the sooner I accepted it, the easier my life flowed.
Whenever I ignored my true calling the more my life pushed me into alignment. If I was using my willpower over my spiritual guidance something bad would happen. I have so many stories of the dramas that ensued when I didn’t follow my intuition. My most obvious drama was last year when I heard (very audibly while sleeping at my boyfriend’s house), “Get up now!” Well, I got up. However, immediately after rising I allowed him to pull me back into bed and a few very uncomfortable moments later a mirror slid off the wall and fell on my face leaving a big scar to remind me every time I look in the mirror!
What I want to reiterate to you is please do not ignore your intuition and internal guidance! Shit is getting real on the planet and you need to know how to harness your energy and master it.
What is your spiritual gift? Do you know how to access your soul’s wisdom? We all have gifts we just need to learn how to listen. Are you looking for a mentor to help you harness your gifts and step more fully into your soul mission? If so, why haven’t you called me?
I am currently taking applications for new initiates in my Mystery School. Get all the details and apply for an interview here.
We are in the midst of a huge shift and we need you to remember!
Be bold and shine bright! The New Earth reality is upon us and it is super exciting. Feel free to reply to this email if you want to share your story with me.
P.S. If you want answers to your astral experiences listen to the show. Feel free to reply with any questions you might have on the topic and I’d love to answer it in my next show.
*Photo by Peter Conlan